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15 Things To Know When Dating A Nerd

by Jessica

Say the word nerd and the image of a socially awkward bookworm pop up in your head. So, it comes as no major surprise that dating a nerd can feel quite bewildering to some people. Sometimes these shy, introverted people, who barely make eye contact, seem so into their books that they come off as boring. But boy, is that wrong!

Do not be deceived by their demure demeanors. Once comfortable in your presence, they can blossom into the coolest friends and the most amazing romantic partners. I guarantee you will end up saying, “He’s a nerd, but I like him”. Curious about what it feels like dating a geeky guy? We did a little research on nerds for you to take advantage of before you go out on a date with them. Here are a few things you should know before you step into their world of magic.

15 Things To Know When Dating A Nerd

The 80’s and 90’s media stereotyped geeks as men and women with pasty-looking skin, thick black glasses and braces. You don’t have to look too hard to find out exactly how far away from the truth that stereotype is. Think Elon Musk, Henry Cavill, Margot Robbie, Anne Hathaway, and Joe Manganiello. But what really makes them so special is not their looks but their personalities. Here are some things you should know before you think of dating a nerdy man.

Things To Know When You Are Trying To Get A Nerd’s Attention

Trying to get a nerd’s attention? Here are some tips to help you understand what their mainstream pursuits are and how they would like to be approached:

1. They like staying in

Most nerds tend to be introverted. They are more likely to stay at home and play video games or read manga than go out partying all night long. While there is no denying that for a lot of people, this is not the definition of fun, to those who have outgrown the nightclub scene, dating a nerd is as good as it gets.

Imagine curling up on a sofa together with a glass of wine, you’re reading A Tale of Two Cities and he’s reading One Piece. Or you happily indulging in a self-care routine while he plays Dungeons & Dragons. Paints quite the picture, doesn’t it? One of the biggest perks of dating a nerd is while he is ok going out, he will be equally content staying in and spending quality time with you.

Related Reading: 15 Signs He Finds You Irresistible

2. They are not superficial

Let’s be honest, we all like looking good and seeing good-looking people. There is nothing wrong with that. But when a relationship is built on the foundations of mere appearances, it becomes a superficial relationship. This is not a problem that you will be facing when you are dating a nerd.

You might catch them staring at you in awe with hearts in their eyes, marvelling at your beauty and wondering how they got so lucky to have landed you but that’s not the only answer to what do nerdy guys find attractive. They will be equally interested in what you think about the Cold War or the possibility of time travel. Your opinion and your thoughts will matter to them.

3. They are intelligent

There’s one thing that you can safely assume when dating a nerd. That your geeky man is smart. Nerds are known for having a high IQ. They have spent the majority of their life focused on acquiring in-depth knowledge of things that they like. Along with being intelligent, they are also hard-working and give their best in their chosen field.

When you are dating a nerdy man you get to build intellectual intimacy in the relationship. He will not only tell you about the stars in the sky, but he will also point out the constellations and tell you the romantic story behind the names of each of the constellations. This is one of the biggest perks of dating a nerd, you will learn something new every day.

4. They do not have a playbook

Geeky guys love playing all kinds of games, on their phones, on their computers, on their television etc. but there is one thing that they never play with and that is someone’s feelings. If you are having thoughts like he is a nerd but I like him but you are also simultaneously wondering, “Are nerds loyal?”, then worry no further because the answer is yes.

Along with being sensitive, nerds happen to be very empathetic. So, the chances of them not appreciating your love and cheating on you are very rare. Nerds know when they have something beautiful going and appreciate it from the bottom of their hearts.

5. They are passionate

Nancy always found Bret to be the timid guy who stayed calm and avoided confrontations. It was this quality of his that made Bret seem extremely cool and mysterious. He was a sweetheart who loved his comic books and superheroes. Nancy liked him a lot but assumed that there would never be any fireworks between them. Until the day The Avengers: Endgame hit the screens.

Nancy had never seen Bret like this. He was so excited, he could barely sit still on the way to the movie. Throughout the journey, he kept talking about all the characters and that was the first time she caught a glimpse of how passionate Bret was about the things he liked. And later that night, she experienced the rest of it. It was all the fireworks she had hoped for but thought she would never share with Bret.

One of the best pro tips for dating a nerd that pop culture gets right: dressing up as Princess Leia from Star Wars will definitely have him drooling all over you.

6. They can hold conversations well

This is surprising, isn’t it? There is a wide misconception that nerdy guys are introverts. That makes them bad conversationalists. However, it’s just a stereotype and don’t let this generalization fool you. While most geeks could be introverts, they are smart enough to actively engage in conversations that interest them. From small talk to engaging conversations, they are good at everything.

Just like the nerds from the famous sitcom The Big Bang Theory, nerds tend to be very smart and their insights will blow your mind for sure. If you are trying to date a geek, then get his attention first by talking about things like:

  • Comic con 
  • Video game consoles, Dungeons and Dragons, and Star Trek 
  • Other guys who are smart like Mark Zuckerberg, Elon Musk, and Bill Gates
  • Try to have a fun time with them by playing puzzles and brainteasers with them

7. They have a great sense of humor

Just like Leonard from The Big Bang Theory, nerdy guys have a great sense of humor. Most guys who are nerds have been humorous all their lives. It’s only you who has failed to notice their sarcasm because you just thought of them as “overly emotional nerdy men who are antisocial and whose body language is weird.”  

On the flip side, they are extremely funny once they are comfortable around you. Their wit, sarcasm, and lack of restraint can make anyone laugh. Furthermore, they don’t mind becoming the butt of someone else’s jokes as well. They can take a joke and deliver a joke with the same zest. 

infographic on dating a nerd
Things to know when dating a nerd

Things To Know When Dating A Nerd

If you just started dating a nerd. then you are going to have the time of your life. The love they will shower you with will make you feel like a princess. Now, here are some things you need to know when dating a nerd:

8. You can be sure of their loyalty

Loyalty in a relationship is an essential aspect of any relationship, be it between lovers or friends. If you have ever wondered if are nerds loyal, then let me tell you. One of the biggest perks of dating a nerd is that they are loyal to the core. You will rarely find a more loyal and reliable friend or partner than them. They just aren’t like the other guys who do serial dating for fun.

All the books like The Lord of the Rings and Harry Potter where good overcomes evil portray rightly how loyal nerds can be. Even games like Mario where the little Italian guy goes to save his princess. They have this innate urge to stand up for what is good and right. So, if you are dating an awkward nerd, then know for sure that he has a knight inside him who is willing to fight dragons to save you.

9. Genuine to the core

Nerds are quite aware of the fact that they are considered geeky. They are also aware of the social stigma that comes with being called a geek but they never let that affect them. When you are dating a nerd you will realize that they are actually quite self-aware and they have accepted themselves and love themselves just the way they are.

However, you might even wonder what nerds find attractive in a person. The answer is, a person who is genuine. Nerds cannot fake their feelings or emotions. They are true and honest to everyone around them. They expect and appreciate the same from their partners as well.

Related Reading: How To Differentiate Between Love Bombing And Genuine Care

10. You will be loved

One of the best perks of dating a nerd is that you will receive unconditional love from them. Nerds can be very strange, as a result, they are also very accepting of other people’s individuality. You do not need to shy away from a nerd. When you are dating a nerd, you are given enough space mentally and physically to be your true authentic self.

Being vulnerable in front of someone can be very difficult for a person. Your nerdy partner understands that. And will love you in spite of all your weirdness. Nerds love will make you feel secure, understood, and valued.

stories on falling in love and more

11. They can be sensitive

Along with high IQ, nerds also have a high EQ. Nerds can be very perceptive and will pick up on your moods in an instant. They might have been bullied a lot in their teen years. This makes them learn to be observant and recognize other people’s moods early on. As a result, they also end up being very compassionate and empathetic in their relationships.

So if you are dating a nerd, your feelings will be heard and your emotions will be validated. Nerds appreciate vulnerability and you and your emotions will be given their due worth.

12. Chances of a stable future are high

Nerds are essentially very hard-working people. They tend to give every subject its due importance during childhood; all that effort and hard work pays off in their adult years. In today’s time where machines play such an important role, it is these nerds who have a steady and regular income and are able to excel and do well for themselves in their adult life.

Related Reading: How Money Issues Can Ruin Your Relationship

13. They are full of surprises

Talking to a nerd can never be boring. Their interests are so varied and so deep-rooted that you can delve into any subject at any time and have deep and meaningful conversations. They might often come off as socially awkward or anxious but they can also be very romantic and display their affection through little meaningful romantic gestures. Their self-awareness and the willingness to grow and develop as a person make them mature, smart, and kind.

Dating a nerdy man can be a very exciting experience. Not only are these men smart and sensitive, but they also accept you and all your imperfections. They are capable of making the most mundane days interesting and fun.

14. They aren’t equipped to play mind games 

Nerdy guys don’t know a lot about hot and cold behavior, push and pull attitude, and they don’t know how to chase someone. If they like you, they like you. It’s as direct and simple as that. They aren’t your average guys who like a good game of chase. Nerdy men won’t try to make it complicated. Their honesty and loyalty will surprise you. They won’t give you subtle hints that they are mad at you or that you did something to hurt them. Most guys usually like to beat around the bush and talk to you directly if something is bothering them.

They are loyal to their friends just as they will be honest with their significant other. These down-to-earth nerdy guys will make sure you are looked after and they will prioritize your mental health as well. When you are having a difficult time, they will make sure they are around you to ease your difficulties. They love playing video games but not with someone’s heart.

15. They take relationships seriously 

Unlike your previous boyfriend who dumped you because you gained a few pounds. They take relationships more seriously and won’t care about what others have to say about the woman they are seeing. Most geeks march to the beat of their own drum.  They value relationships a lot and won’t break your heart if they truly love you.

Their love is one of a kind and once you fall in love with their nerdy side, you will realize that nerds make the best boyfriends. You will think why you wasted your entire life in the dating world dating all these weirdos from your gym and the self-obsessed guys you met at the pub. 

Key Pointers

  • Dating a nerd guy can be fun and exciting. It will be a unique experience and you will learn a lot from them
  • One of the things you need to know while trying to get a nerd’s attention is that they are great conversationalists and they have an opinion on everything. Their conversations will keep you entertained
  • A few other things you need to keep in mind while dating a nerd is that they value relationships a lot and they won’t play mind games with you

When you are dating a nerd, most girls try to take them for granted and let the relationship become stagnant. In order to prevent stagnancy, here are some things you can do to keep the relationship alive:

  • Partake in their interests
  • Find out what their love language is and base your actions around it
  • Try to learn about the things that fascinate them. For example, if the guy you are dating loves Physics, then learn which hypothesis he is working on
  • Give them gifts. Surprise them with the things they like. Have a good time with them by taking them to comic con and other science events they are interested in

No relationship is perfect and every relationship requires effort and time. If there is anyone out there who is willing to invest time and effort to make a relationship work, there is a high chance it is going to be your geeky partner. So, what are you waiting for? Ask out that sweet man who keeps looking at you but is too shy to make a move. And get ready to have an adventure of a lifetime.

This article has been updated in March, 2023.


1. Is it good to date a nerd?

Dating a nerd can be a very fulfilling experience. These men are kind, sensitive, smart and generous people who are willing to accept you and love you just the way you are. Their love for books and games helps them de-stress and allows them to become a better version of themselves. Nerds are willing to invest the time and effort to make a relationship work. This is very vital for the relationship. And such a guy is definitely a keeper.

2. Do nerds make good boyfriends?

Nerds make amazing boyfriends. Their shy and unassuming nature gives them an aura of mystery. Yet they can talk your ears off once you get to know them. Loyal and compassionate to the core, these gentlemen will love and support you unconditionally and help you grow into the best version of yourself. They are not judgmental and give the relationship their 100% all the time.

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