Every time I fell in love, and every time the fools broke up with me, and every time they came over to return a sock or called me after I posted pictures with someone else, I added to a list titled: Signs He Still Loves You After Breakup. And every time I heard them say, “Maybe we can try again?”, I circled those signs in red. Because I had landed on the secret to how men’s minds work – at least in the context of breakups.
Of course, not all of them returned. But the ones who did always said the same thing, “I couldn’t stop thinking about you.” Makes the whole ‘how to know if he still loves you after a fight or after a breakup’ question easier. Presenting to you top secret signs that your ex-boyfriend still loves you.
17 Signs He Still Loves You After Breakup
To all the boys I’ve loved and broken up with and stalked later, I would like to ask why you would bother going to such lengths to show you’re not affected. Drop the machismo. That would be the ultimate relationship advice for men. Everyone knows it’s not easy letting go of someone after you’ve spent a lot of time building a relationship. Unless your man is a sociopath, it’s easy enough to check for signs he still loves you after a breakup:
1. He maintains contact
When a guy ignores you after an argument that led to your breakup, it doesn’t necessarily mean he will forget about you and move on. Once his anger has cooled down, he will regret breaking up with you. He will try to reach out to you and act as if the fight was not a big deal. If he starts making amends and if you want to get back together with him, then give him another chance. Start spending time with him and see how the relationship progresses over time.
If the two of you drew a no-contact rule but he still texts to see if you are doing okay after the breakup, then it’s one of the clear signs he still wants you after a breakup. It could also be platonic but it’s obvious that he still values conversations with you. Look out for when he calls you using a bad excuse, “Hey, do you happen to have that hat I once wore when we went to…” and he turns the call smoothly into an hour-long conversation, reminding you of the good times you had together.
2. Drunk dialing has become his way of communicating with you
We should all thank Alexander Graham Bell for inventing the telephone since drunk letters would have never become a thing. You can count on being in your ex’s thoughts if he calls you at 3 AM, slurring, “I mish you.” But it could also mean that he had a bad day and just wanted someone to comfort him. So before assuming, you need to look out for more signs he wants you back after a fight.
When you are drunk, you often feel braver than ever to confront people. It’s one of the times when you vent your frustration and sadness on the phone. If he has drunk-dialed you more than once and has cried over the phone every time he has drunk-dialed you, it’s one of the obvious signs he wants you back after a fight.
Related Reading: Does He Love Me? 10 Signs To Tell You That He Loves You
3. Small things make him think of you
Think of Marshall from How I Met Your Mother, his longing for Lily triggered by things as mundane as pancakes. You need to find out when these guys start to miss you after a breakup. This is a bit tricky since you can only ever know about these musings if you get to see him at his place or if his friends tell you. Ask them, in circles, if he is insisting on skipping your favorite song on TV, or if he snaps his head to look at every woman with hair like yours. It’s surely one of the signs he still cares after a fight.
Memories bring back people. You are busy thinking about your work and all of a sudden he pops up in your head and you wonder if he thinks about you the way you are thinking about him. You must cross his mind at least once a day, though. That’s why he keeps checking up on you and calling you late in the night. Wait and let him come to you after a fight because these memories will drive him crazy and it will make him realize your worth.
4. He finds it difficult to throw away your stuff
One of the signs he still cares after a fight is when he hasn’t thrown away any of your gifts. What’s the point of holding on to gifts long after you’ve broken up and moved on? Nothing. If he still has that book you left at his place, then it’s one of the clear signs he still wants you after a breakup. If he is careless about the things you’ve left at his place, even forgetting they’re yours, then he doesn’t care about your absence. However, if he has packed up all your stuff because he can’t bear to see it, or has kept it all in pristine condition, then he feels something for you. It’s one of the uncommon romantic gestures men do.
I left a scrunchie at the place of a guy I was dating in college. A friend found it in his bag when he was looking for a notebook, four months after we had broken up. That news rekindled something that the both of us thought had extinguished. This is one of the fool-proof signs he still cares after a fight.
5. He makes an effort for you
Grooming themselves is one of the ways men like to win women’s hearts. Observe how he dresses when you two meet, particularly in an informal setting. Here are some things he will do that will let you know he hasn’t forgotten you in the first place:
- He will make an effort to look good just for you
- He will wear your favorite color to make sure you notice his efforts
- He will check up on you
- He is ready to help you out of any personal or work crisis
- He still doesn’t make you feel insecure and keeps praising your talents
6. He has got ‘that’ expression on his face
How to know if someone still likes you after a breakup? Imagine he’s already present at a bar and you arrive, coincidentally (wink-wink). Look at his face when he spots you. Does he go all red, looking as if butterflies have stormed his stomach? Do his eyes sparkle and he starts to smile without taking his eyes off you? You can know how much he loves you through his body language. If that expression is not a sign he still loves you after a breakup, then what is?
Here are some body language movements that say that he still loves you and wants you back:
- He gets nervous around you
- He tries to make you feel special by holding your hand
- His gaze game is strong
- He stands or sits close to you
- He laughs easily around you
- He looks at you fondly
7. He is constantly on the rebound
If he is constantly on a dating spree, it’s one of the signs he hasn’t moved on and isn’t able to let go of you from his mind. He isn’t single, yet none of his new relationships survive beyond a few weeks. He keeps having a fling after fling, and many of these girls curiously look like you. It’s obvious these girls hate you even though he refuses to talk badly about you.
This happens as the rebound relationship reaches its last stages. Some of them might even call or threaten you. Yet, he asks you out to dinner and apologizes on their behalf. If this is his pattern after your breakup, then I can say yes if you ask, “Does he still love me even if he is with someone else?”
8. One of the signs he still loves you after breakup – He tries to make you jealous
Every time I fought with my ex, my feed would be full of his pictures and stories about partying and girls I’d never seen. I’d get jealous and start doing the same. Our friends, by that time, would have had enough of us and would make us talk. As they say, jealousy and relationships run in a loop and is mostly unhealthy. Jealousy is a sad indication that he still loves you after a breakup. It is his way of getting you to think about him and make you insecure, so you’d keep him close. Not very sensible and not recommended, but it works.
Some of the signs he is trying to make you jealous include:
- He brags about his one-night stands
- He acts super busy
- He posts pictures with his rebound girlfriends
- He shares indirect posts on social media that indicate his happiness after your exit from his life
9. He gets jealous of other guys
How to know if he still loves you after a fight? Notice how he behaves when he sees you with someone else. It’s one of the signs he still has true feelings for you. Even though jealousy is not a good sign when it comes to relationships, we can’t really help it. It’s an indicator of someone’s interest in you, as long as it’s handled well.
Be on the lookout for random calls from him where you end up talking about the guy he saw you with. He usually finds fault with them too. Sometimes, he even brings you proof that they’re bad and you shouldn’t get involved with them. He says he’s just looking out for you, but he’s jealous.
10. He tries to get your attention
Does he post non-stop on social media now, but never really cared earlier? Does he frequently ‘like’ and ‘comment’ under your posts? Does he text you often? He will try to initiate conversations. Gradually, you will observe that these conversations start to get longer, more comfortable, and sometimes flirty. If you find these conversations becoming more frequent, then these are some of the signs he wants you to notice him badly.
11. He’s running into you
This is an important sign you shouldn’t miss out on if you are wondering whether or not to give your ex another chance. It may appear coincidental but of late, you’ve been crossing paths way too many times. He appears to work close to where you do, is present at every party you’re invited to, he’s even at the deli where you buy milk.
Though it’s borderline stalker behavior, it does mean that he’s keen on meeting you and can’t think of any good excuses to do so. So, if you’re thinking, “Does he still love me even if he is with someone else?”, then yes he does, especially if this behavior persists when he’s dating other people.
Related Reading: 12 Signs That You Are Dating A Stalker And Need To Break Up
12. He is keeping tabs on you
How to know if he still loves you after a fight? He will stalk you on social media. He will know who you went on a date with last night and which friend of yours you were hanging out with at the New Year party. Talking of borderline stalker behavior from the previous point, you realize that he knows what you’re doing lately.
It’s through your social media feed or through your mutual friends or lastly, through some shady private detective, in which case you should just run in the opposite direction as fast as you can. But if he is paying attention to what you’re doing, it’s one of the signs he wants you back after a fight. However, if you don’t like this stalking behavior, then a simple way to shut it down is by confronting him. Tell him you don’t like being stalked and would appreciate it if he left you alone.
13. He tries to improve himself
How to know if someone still likes you after a breakup? One of the signs of true love after a breakup is his desire to improve himself. Breakups can get ugly when a person is constantly getting hurt in the relationship due to their partner. If you’ve broken up because of his flaws and you see him working on them to win you back, then it’s surely a secret sign your ex-boyfriend still loves you.
How he acts after a fight determines whether or not he wants you back. If he resorts to stonewalling, then there are fewer chances of you sorting the issues because one person is unwilling to talk about it. If he called you offensive names after the argument, then that’s a huge red flag you need to be wary of. On the other hand, if he fought fair during the fight and didn’t disrespect you, then it shows he is a good guy and is willing to become a better person by sorting out the differences.
14. His behavior confuses you
Research by psychoanalysts indicates that you can expect him to cry for you one moment and sulk the next when he has strong feelings for you. This is called bivalent-priming, and supports the conclusion that love is too complex to be defined in binaries. It means that you can’t expect your ex to behave uniformly if he still loves you. He’ll show his good and bad sides and confuse the hell out of you. This is the biggest sign he still loves you after a breakup, though you need to decide how okay you are with such an indirect or hurtful communication style.
15. He likes talking about the past
How to know if he still loves you after a fight? He will reminisce about the old times and the happier times as if nothing wrong went down between the two of you. Here are some things he will do when he wants to reconcile:
- The conversations you have with him will be full of nostalgia
- He will keep reminding you of the great times you had together as if implying that he wants to live those times again
- He will invite you to the places you have a special connection to
- He will buy little gifts to put a smile on your face
Related Reading: 12 Tips To Get Your Ex-Boyfriend Back And Keep Him
16. He says so to his friends
The most obvious sign he still loves you after a breakup is that he will hint or downright confess to his friends that he wants to get back with you. If his friends think that both of you should get back together, they will tell you. It is important to note that friends play a major role this way, so be sure that you’re friends with your ex’s friends.
17. He says he wants to get back together with you
Not in an emotional melodramatic way like in movies, but he will say it nonetheless. He’ll tell you he made a mistake when he left you, or that he wishes time could turn backward. It could also mean that he’s going through a really bad time and wants to get back with you only for comfort. Nonetheless, this is a major sign he still loves you after a breakup.
Not everything is black or white these days. It’s all shades of gray. You can’t throw all the blame at him and depict yourself as innocent unless he cheated on you with another girl or behaved inappropriately and hurtfully in other ways. If that isn’t the case, then you should reassess the events that led to the breakup. If you were also at fault, then try to work things out by communicating effectively.
- Reconnecting after a big fight isn’t an easy task. Both parties must be willing to take a chance again
- One of the signs he wants you back after a fight is when he keeps checking up on you and drunk dials you every other night
- Some other signs he is desperate for you to take him back include getting jealous when he sees you with someone else, recalling the happy memories, and taking the blame for the breakup
- If you equally miss him and want your ex-boyfriend back, then stop listening to others and don’t miss out on a wonderful guy
Now, if all these things have happened to you, then it simply means the ball is in your court. The fact that he still loves you is not reason enough for you to get back into a relationship with him. Think of why you broke up earlier and if those reasons are still valid. Decide wisely.
This article has been updated in February 2023.
It depends on how involved they were in the relationship. If it was a long-term relationship or an intense one, they’re likely to think about their ex for a long time after the breakup. It also depends on other factors. If he doesn’t get any companionship afterward, he’s likely to think of an ex even if he never had any feelings for them.
For the signs that your ex-boyfriend wants you back, you need to see if your ex keeps in touch with you and tries to spend time with you, especially when he can choose to go out with other people. He will also try to hint at reasons that you should get back with him – a new job, a bigger apartment, and personality changes. He will go out of his way to get you to like him.
If you can see any signs that he thinks of you more than he should after a breakup, then he’s surely in love with you. Keep a lookout for jealousy, confusing mood swings, or looks of longing thrown your way. He’ll try to get over you by being busy, or by being on a rebound. This does not work for long. So, expect to see him on the move from one thing to another. You can know through these signs he wants you back after a fight.