If you are in a confusing or on-again-off-again relationship, you might have been advised by a friend: “You know what. This time, cut him off, he will miss you”. And while it might sound like the most illogical thing at that moment, it is a reality of the anatomical heart.
In the song Let Her Go by Passengers, he says “only know you love her when you let her go”. While many of us have spent countless nights listening to this song in the hopes of mending our teenage hearts, the true meaning is only understood once you step into adulthood.
You realize the true value of someone when they are no longer part of your life. In this article, we explain why the ‘cut him off, he will miss you’ advice usually works.
“Cut Him Off He Will Miss You” – 11 Reasons It Almost Always Works
Here’s the thing; people value that which they cannot have. For example, you are dying to get your hands on the limited edition pair of Jordans. You think about them all day. But what happens once you get them?
They sit in a box on your shoe rack, accumulating dust. The same is true (sadly) for humans as well. Especially in the case of men, research suggests that they enjoy the chase more than the actual relationship. Keeping all these factors in mind, here are 11 reasons he will miss you if you cut him off:
1. He will stop taking you for granted
People are habitual creatures. In our daily lives, we tend to get into a routine. But if we don’t follow it for some time, the habit starts to fade away. However, breaking that habit initially is uncomfortable for all of us. This is why you need to distance yourself and make him miss his habit: you.
After you are no longer in his life, he will realize your worth. He will miss having you around, especially the constant companionship you offered and how his life made sense around you. This will only happen if he truly and deeply cares about you. It will be a wake-up call for him and make him realize how much you did for him and why you matter in his life.
2. He will miss your kindness
The beauty of a relationship is that it provides you with a companion who is patient and kind, even when you are going through a rough patch. The same kindness is not always offered outside the realm of a relationship. Hence, you need to cut him off if he disrespects you and takes your kindness for granted.
Only when you pull away the blanket of warmth and let him experience the chill will he realize what he has lost. Trust me, the care, warmth, love, and patience that you offered him will be deeply missed. Once he sees how your presence was a ray of sunshine, his behavior toward you will change.
3. He will realize he no longer holds primary importance in your life
We, humans, are silly creatures. He was so used to being your priority that he didn’t appreciate the importance of your attention. Nobody is irreplaceable. Once you become distant, he will realize that you no longer prioritize him and that will make him miss you. We all like being the most important part of someone’s life. When you don’t get that attention, you crave it and so will he.
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4. He will miss talking to you
You are the person he confides in about his issues. Additionally, you offer a listening ear or a shoulder to cry on, whenever required. This is especially true for relationships where you have no one else to talk to or share your deepest secrets with.
Even though he may have pals, do they know everything? Do they care about hearing him out without passing judgment? Once a partner cuts off all communication, the boyfriend will miss their presence because his life will seem empty.
5. He will miss all the good qualities you have
This is a point I want to explain with an example. One of my closest friends recently got back together with his girlfriend. When I asked him what had happened between them, he said, “I hurt her and she cut me off. Completely. I was honestly a pathetic boyfriend to her. But I never thought she would cut me off. Once she was gone, I started missing her. I remembered all the good qualities she had. That made me realize I needed to get her back. So that’s what I did.”
Now you know why the ‘cut him off, he will miss you’ advice works. Because what people miss are the unique qualities that separate you from others. It could be the way you laugh or the way you treat others around you. Whatever it might be, if he does love you, he will miss you when you are no longer a part of his life.
6. You will be able to set clear boundaries
If he is toxic or treats you badly and you say nothing, it gives him a sign that he can continue this behavior. However, you need to cut him off if he disrespects you. Set clear boundaries. Let him know what you will tolerate and what you want.
Once you have healthy boundaries set in place, it will be a lesson for him that he cannot treat you any way he wants. If he is ready to accept those boundaries, he will miss you and come back to you. If he doesn’t, well, then you don’t need him in your life anyway.
7. He will miss the physical intimacy
When two people are truly in love, they have special sexual compatibility that they cannot have with someone else. So, if you and your partner shared that, he will miss you when you’re gone.
As he realizes how good things were in bed, his feelings for you will also heighten. It is good to take a step back once in a while and see the larger picture. This is exactly what will happen with your partner too. Has he been ignoring you lately? Cut him off, he will miss you so much he won’t ever mistreat you again.
8. His ego will be crushed
Does your partner have ego issues? Does he think you cannot do better than him and that he is a blessing in your life? It’s time to cut him off and make him miss you.
I was recently talking to a friend about relationships and she shared something insightful. She said, “We often mistake a person’s love for their weakness. And our ego tells us that we are superior to them. We start mistreating them because we feel they are not going anywhere. In such situations, I always tell a friend to ignore him completely and let him miss you when his ego is trampled. He will realize that your love for him wasn’t a weakness and that he is the one who needs you more than you need him.”
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9. He will pursue you because men like the chase
He will chase you if you are no longer there for him. If you cut him off, he will miss you because he wants the thrill. That’s all there is to it. Men enjoy the adrenaline rush of the chase, therefore they will strive to win you back if they don’t think they can. He will want to be close to you and the more you push him away, the harder he will try.
He’ll try to get you back once he realizes that you aren’t chasing him. He’ll start pursuing you and try to catch your eye by becoming cocky. He’ll contact you frequently, text you, and maybe even give you something as a gift.
If he has suddenly stopped chasing you, you need to cut him off if he doesn’t want a relationship with you. Once he sees you don’t care anymore, he will suddenly want to get together with you.
10. He will understand how you felt
Have you tried talking to your guy about his behavior? Has he ignored you? Then it’s time to distance yourself and make him miss you. Once you do that, he will get the message loud and clear. It will make him realize exactly how you felt and that his behavior was not acceptable.
He might try to ask for your forgiveness and make amends once you cut him off because he will understand that you are deeply hurt and had to take this drastic step.
11. He will feel lonely
You played many different roles as his girlfriend for him, but he will miss you when you are gone because he won’t know what to do with himself. He will discover himself to be alone, and he will experience that loneliness physically as well as emotionally. While you’re away, he won’t be able to unwind or enjoy anything.
Jacob, an ex-colleague shares his experience with his ex-girlfriend. He says, “I admit I never paid attention to that relationship. We were friends for a long time and when we got together, I didn’t change my behavior. It went on for a while. One time, I hurt her and she cut me off. I thought I would be fine. I was lying to myself. Once she was gone, I realized how much her presence mattered to me. From a friend to a lover to a support system, she had been silently doing so much for me. I regret letting her go.”
When Should I Not Try This?
Cutting him off will make him miss you. However, there are certain situations in which you should not try this:
1. He has moved on
If you have broken up and he has made it clear that he has moved on from you, then the ‘cut him off, he will miss you’ rule won’t apply.
You have to realize that he might occasionally miss you but that won’t mean that he wants to come back to you since he has closed that chapter in his life. So please don’t try this.
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2. He cheated on you
In this case, you don’t need him in your life, period. If you think that cutting him off will make him realize how much he cares about you, you are probably right. But is it worth it?
Someone who couldn’t respect you and the relationship does not deserve your efforts. Cheating in a relationship should be a sign to completely let go of the relationship, and not just make him miss you by cutting off communication.
3. He is with someone else
You might miss your ex but if he is already with someone else, you cannot make him miss you enough to want to get back together with you. He will not miss you when you are no longer there for him, because he has already filled that void with someone else. It is a sign for you to also move on in your life instead of holding on to the remnants of a broken relationship.
4. He was abusive
Please don’t even consider getting his attention through the ‘cutting him off’ tactic when he has been emotionally, mentally, or physically abusive to you. This is a giant red flag in a relationship and requires you to immediately break it off. You will achieve nothing from making an abusive man miss you. Break up with him and never look back.
When Does ‘Cut Him Off He Will Miss You’ Not Work?
We gave you 11 reasons that the ‘cut him off he will miss you’ rule works, but there’s always a flip side to every coin. It won’t be fair to present only half the picture, so here are some situations in which the ‘he will miss you when you are gone’ theory won’t work:
1. When your relationship is new
In case your relationship is new, cutting him off will be considered ghosting in a relationship. Because you are still new to each other, he might not miss you because he might not even have that level of affection for you.
Jackie, a nurse who recently got married, sheds some light on this. She says, “I was one of those girls who used to think that not communicating at all will suddenly make him realize how much he loves me. But this stuff only happens in movies, especially in a new relationship. How is he supposed to know everything about you? You don’t need to ignore him you need to communicate more to get on the same page.”
2. When he doesn’t love you
Yes, it might be time to face the facts. You cannot keep believing that he will miss you when you are gone and when he doesn’t love you.
This only works when a person genuinely cares for you. You cannot make somebody fall in love with you. So, if he has made it clear that he does not have feelings for you, distance yourself from him, but don’t expect him to miss you.
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3. When you are the problem, not him
It will be considered manipulation if you cut off communication with him especially when it’s your fault. Say, you got into a fight. You were in the wrong. But you stopped talking to him completely instead of indulging in a healthy dialogue.
Communication in a relationship is very important. Please don’t think that the silent treatment will solve anything. Instead, sit down, have a conversation and work toward solving your issues together.
- The ‘cut him off, he will miss you theory works because it helps the person realize your value
- Once you become distant, he will be lonely and realize the impact your presence made in his life
- If the person has moved on, cheated on you, or was abusive, you should not try this
- Don’t give him the cold shoulder if it is a new relationship or if you were at fault
Next time someone tells you, “Babe, cut him off, he will miss you and realize his fault”, you should listen to them but not blindly. Analyze the situation and your relationship and only do it if you feel it is right. Every relationship is different and you do not need to hold on to someone who does not value you.
If he loves you and cares about you, then yes, he will miss you when you ignore him or become distant.
When you are in a long-term relationship, guys miss you when you are gone because they get used to your presence as well as the affection and attention you give them.
It typically takes anywhere between a week to a month for them to miss you after they dump you. Once they realize how special you are, they begin to miss you.