The thought of being betrayed by your life partner is stress-inducing. This deep fear has now started following you in your dreams which has made it harder for you to sleep peacefully. These dreams about spouse cheating can make you wonder if they are unfaithful in real life as well. It may raise a lot of concerns and may even disrupt your sanity.
Such dreams of a spouse cheating on one are common. In fact, one study claims that one in four Americans have had a dream about cheating on their partner or being cheated on by their spouse. It’s worse when you see such dreams and let insecurities and suspicions creep into your married life. On one hand, you are feeling guilty and on the other, you wonder if these dreams have any symbolic meanings behind them.
To find out the real meaning behind such common bad dreams about spouse cheating, we reached out to astrologist Nishi Ahlawat. She says, “Let’s clarify one thing first. When you dream about your partner cheating on you, it doesn’t mean they are unfaithful to you in real life as well.”
Why Does One Dream About Spouse Cheating?
Dreams are a sequence of images and jumbled up scenarios that we see when we are asleep. Some stem from our desires, whereas some take birth from our insecurities. Nishi says, “Dreams aren’t synonymous to reality. They aren’t predictions either. We can confidently say that these dreams are a reflection of our phobias and fears. Most of the time we dream about the things we are battling during the day time.”
If you are wondering “Why do I keep dreaming my husband is cheating on me or my wife is cheating on me?”, here are some possible reasons you are constantly seeing such heartbreaking and daunting visions:
- Trust issues: This is one of the major reasons for seeing dreams about spouse cheating. You have trust issues and this has nothing to do with your spouse’s loyalty or disloyalty. You are struggling to trust them despite them being loyal
- Past issues are still haunting you: “When you frequently dream about your husband cheating, it could mean your spouse cheated on you before and you gave them another chance. You’re afraid it’ll happen again. Or perhaps a former lover cheated on you and you still aren’t over it,” says Nishi
- You are feeling betrayed in other aspects of your life: Betrayal isn’t limited to romantic relationships. You can be betrayed by your friends, family, colleagues, and business partners as well. If you are constantly dreaming about being cheated on, there is a possibility that you think someone else in your life could cheat on you. You need to find out how to survive betrayal that isn’t from your romantic partner
- There is a lack of communication in your relationship: Nishi says, “Lack of communication weakens a relationship. Dreams of spouse cheating could indicate that you and your partner need to communicate more about your feelings and thoughts”
- You are processing new life changes: Some big changes are taking place in your life. You are either moving to a new city or starting a new job. When there is a big change happening in one’s life, we often tend to feel more anxious and worried. This anxiousness is taking place in the form of betrayal in the dreams
Related Reading: How To Heal After Being Cheated On And Stay Together
Common Dreams About Spouse Cheating And What They Mean
Nishi says, “Dreams about spouse cheating or you cheating on your spouse can feel inappropriate even though they are not in your hands. However, they don’t mean that you have the desire to cheat on your spouse or your spouse has been unfaithful to you. You have to look at the details of the dream and the person your spouse has dream-cheated on you with.” Let’s take a look at some of the common dreams about infidelity and what they mean for a married couple:
1. Dreams about partner cheating on you with his ex
Sam, a 36-year-old homemaker from Boston, writes to us, “Why do I keep dreaming my husband is cheating on me with his ex? I thought he is still in love with his ex but he says he has moved on and is happy with me. I said I believed him but my dreams are making me anxious. I feel guilty for suspecting him of not moving on. I don’t know what to do.”
Here are some questions our resident astrologist, Nishi, wants you to answer before you confirm that your spouse is cheating on you with their ex:
- Are they still in touch with each other?
- Does your partner often compare you with them?
- Did you catch your spouse looking at their pictures?
- Did someone you know spot them together, even if it was for a platonic lunch that you didn’t know about?
Nishi adds, “This is one of the most common infidelity dreams. If you have answered yes to the above questions, then there are chances your ex is still in love with them. However, this doesn’t necessarily mean they are having an affair. But one thing is for sure, they still aren’t over their ex yet. On the other hand, if you answered no to those questions, then you have nothing to worry about. They have moved on but you want more affection from them. Perhaps there is a lack of affection in the relationship.”
Furthermore, it could signify that you are jealous of your partner’s ex. They have something you don’t. That’s why you want more reassurance from them in order for you to feel loved, safe, and secure in your marriage. You and your significant other need to sit down and open up with each other. Communicate the way you would like to be assured of their love and hopefully all will be well soon.
2. Dreams about partner cheating on you with your best friend
Dreams can really worry the life out of you sometimes and this one is especially a stinker, isn’t it? Dreaming about betrayal from two people you love and trust the most, makes you feel like you’ve been abandoned in a desert. Don’t worry. This doesn’t infer betrayal from either your partner or your best friend because dreams often reveal hopes and fears.
Now, which is it? Are you hoping he will cheat so you have an excuse to leave him? Or are you afraid he will cheat because you are insecure in your relationship? Nishi says, “This dream majorly reflects your fears and insecurities. You either fear your spouse is going to cheat on you with someone or you are insecure about yourself.”
You think you are not good-looking or wealthy enough to keep your partner happy. You have a deep-seated fear that you will lose your partner to someone else because of your shortcomings. Whatever your insecurity is, you need to work it out before you ruin a good relationship. Here are some ways to stop being insecure and build your self-esteem:
- Affirm your own value. Tell yourself you are good at what you do (personally and professionally)
- Treat yourself once in a while. Have a good meal, shop for yourself, get a massage
- Practice self-compassion and be nice to yourself
- Don’t let negative thoughts indicate your nature and essence. Challenge those thoughts by fighting back and saying good things about yourself
- Avoid meeting those who mock or criticize you. Be with those who uplift you and motivate you to do better in life
3. Dreams of spouse cheating with a stranger
There are two people in your dreams. One you know, love, and adore, whereas you are clueless about this other person your partner is making love with. You are distressed upon waking up and don’t know if those dreams have any symbolic meaning or represent the future. Nishi clears your fears and says, “When you dream about your partner cheating on you with a stranger, it means you think that they don’t value your relationship or there is a lack of respect in the relationship.
“Whether or not this is true is a debate for another day. For now, you are filled with this negative feeling that your partner doesn’t value the relationship and isn’t confident about this marriage.” If you feel like your spouse has been working a lot more than usual, giving too much time to their family, or spending a lot of time playing online games, then this is one of the common reasons you are experiencing such dreams.
Try to spend more quality time with your partner and this issue will be resolved gradually. Go on dinner dates. Take a short vacation. Praise and compliment each other often.
Related Reading: 10 Important Components Of Trust In A Relationship
4. Dreams of your spouse cheating with someone you are close to
Joanna, a housewife from Chicago, says, “I had a dream that my partner cheated on me with my mom. I don’t even know how to describe what I am feeling right now. I don’t know what it means but it’s really bothering me. My mother recently divorced my father and runs her own boutique. I meet her often but since the time I’ve had this dream, I haven’t met her. I don’t know how to look at her.”
When you dream about your husband cheating on you or your wife cheating on you with someone you’re close to, like your sibling or any of your family members, it’s one of the signs that you really want these two people to get along. They are not being disloyal to you in real life and you are just paranoid. You just don’t want them missing out on each other since you love both your partner and this person.
On the other hand, this dream may also be picking at your insecurities. This person has something you lack and you really want that. What is it? A great sense of humor, their altruistic nature, or their financial stability? Don’t concern yourself so much about the infidelity that has taken place in your dreams. Instead, focus more on yourself and try to work on your confidence.
5. Dreams of your partner cheating on you with their boss
These dreams can be really stress-inducing. The fact that your partner can see their boss every day makes it even more difficult to not think about this nightmare. Nishi says, “Before we find out why you’ve been having such bad dreams about spouse cheating on you, always remember that the majority of the time, dreams are symbolic about yourself and the happenings of your life rather than somebody else’s character, personality, or infidelity. This dream is one of the signs you are a control freak and want more control over your spouse.
“This specific dream points out your innermost desire to control and be more authoritative in your relationship. You want to control your partner and want them to bend to your will every now and then.” You can’t control anyone. You can only control yourself and your feelings. Don’t let these feelings overcome you because you’ll end up making a mess out of your situation.
6. Dreams of spouse cheating on you with their colleague
Another common cheating dream when you have major trust issues. This is someone your partner sees every day plus there might be a huge lack of trust in the relationship already. You’ve either been cheated on before by your spouse or somebody else in your life has betrayed you. You are insecure and worried about being cheated on again.
It could also signify that you’re going through big life changes. If you keep seeing this dream and don’t know what to do, let your partner know that you’ve been experiencing such dreams. You can also reach out to a licensed healer or a therapist and seek professional help.
If You Are The One Cheating In Your Dreams
If you are the spouse cheating on your partner in your dreams, then the interpretations aren’t the same. These dreams point to the fact that you are feeling guilty for something. Perhaps you spoke to someone and hid this from your partner or you actually cheated on them and have been keeping them in the dark about this. Some other interpretations include:
- You don’t want to continue with this marriage
- You feel your partner isn’t good or worthy enough to be your spouse
- Your relationship needs aren’t being met and you feel like there is something lacking in your sexual life
- You are giving too much time and attention to something/someone else
- You are feeling guilty about hiding something else entirely, and it’s manifesting in the form of infidelity
- Dreams of spouse cheating don’t mean that they are actually having an affair in real life. It just means something is missing out in your marriage like quality time or acts of service
- When you dream about your partner cheating on you with his ex, it either means you are jealous of something the other person has or you feel like your partner hasn’t moved on from their previous relationship yet
- Dreams about spouse cheating on you with their boss means you have a desire to be more controlling in the relationship
- If you dream of cheating on your spouse, it means you’re guilty of something or that your needs aren’t being met
These dreams are a reminder that you need to work on yourself and the unmet needs in your marriage. Whether or not you want to address these issues is your call. However, you need to keep in mind that these dreams won’t stop unless you do something about it.
It represents a person’s unfulfilled relationship needs. Sometimes these dreams also signify a person’s lack of self-esteem and their hidden insecurities. If they did cheat on you before, then these dreams represent your deep fear that they could be cheating on you again.
Yes, these dreams are common. While these could be worrisome and you may get all worked up thinking your relationship is in trouble, that’s not usually the case. These dreams signify something else that’s missing in your life.
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