Home » Eye Contact Attraction: How Does It Help To Build A Relationship?

Eye Contact Attraction: How Does It Help To Build A Relationship?

by Jessica

Eyes are the windows to the soul and they speak volumes. When communicating with someone, eye contact attraction is one of the most understated yet potent tools one can use. Be it love, anger, pain or indifference, eye contact can convey them all. It helps you comprehend things that have been left unsaid. Even in animals, eye contact is used to exert dominance, so it comes as no surprise that eyes are an important medium of communication.

In the novel Memoirs of a Geisha, Mameha asks Sayuri to stop a man in his tracks with a single look. That’s the power of eye contact! Human beings happen to be the only primates with white eyes. Our eyes are designed to be visibly seen by others; they are meant to attract attention. What does it mean when a guy holds eye contact? Let’s find out.

Using Eye Contact Attraction To Build A Relationship

Is eye contact a sign of attraction? If you want it to be. Direct eye contact can make/break a relationship. Prolonged eye contact can creep someone out, make them feel uncomfortable and trigger their social anxiety. We all know that one person whose unblinking stare can have us questioning their sanity if not our own for hanging out with them.

Yet, looking someone in the eyes can get them to open up to you better. They end up trusting you a bit more than a person with shifty eyes. In fact, maintaining eye contact could be one of the signs you are attractive. Here are some of the benefits of eye lock attraction:

  • Everyone likes being understood without having to explain
  • Helps you connect with most people on a subconscious level
  • It’s great way to communicate effectively and appear smarter/competent, according to research

Hence, maintaining eye contact is the stepping stone to building any relationship. Not just between lovers but it is also equally important between peers or even strangers. You want to motivate a crowd, look them in the eye. You want to know if a woman likes you, look into her eyes.

Related Reading: 55 Unique Ways To Tell Someone You Love Them

Even research points out that shorter periods of eye contact trigger positive affective reactions, leading to improved cognitive performance and facilitation of social interaction. Eyes don’t lie, but they can confuse you. That is why we are here to decode the eye contact psychology for you. Here are the types of eye contact attraction.

Levels Of Eye Contact Attraction

Eye contact meanings can be quite varied. While some are at a subconscious level, some are deliberate. In the beginning, it starts with accidental eye contact. If there is an attraction between the two people, then there will be more glances shared, which eventually grows into intense eye contact. So, let’s dive into the different levels of eye attraction and what they mean.

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1. No eye contact (deliberate)

Making eye contact is important and instinctual. So, when a person makes a deliberate attempt to look away, it could mean:

  • They are too uncomfortable in your presence
  • Studies say that people with ADHD have a hard time looking someone in the eyes
  • They are uninterested and don’t want to talk to you

In such situations, continuing to stare would be one of the most common flirting mistakes a person can make. It is better not to continue, some things are best left alone. Try the eye contact love signals with someone else.

2. No eye contact (unintentional)

An unintentional lack of eye contact happens when a person is oblivious to your existence. No, you haven’t become invisible (though wouldn’t that be an amazing superpower); it just means that person has not noticed you.

This is not one of the signs she’s not attracted to you but more of what is going on in her head. So, do not let this put a dent in your confidence. These could be some of the many possibilities on why they’re avoiding eye contact and attraction:

  • They are listening to music and are lost in their own world
  • They are busy obsessing over the inflation rate of the economy
  • They are just begging to the universe that Henry Cavil falls in love with them

3. Glance (accidental)

An unconscious glance happens most often between strangers (owing to proximity). They look around and your eyes accidentally meet, then they look away. So, he is not into you; you just happen to be in his line of vision as his eyes wander.

A look like this is very fleeting and has no meaning attached. The reason behind this is that even though the eye contact was established, the person didn’t register it as it happened at a very subconscious level. There is about a 95% chance the person will not even remember having engaged in it.

Related Reading: The 7 Techniques Of Stealth Attraction To Use NOW

4. Glance (deliberate)

The glance lasts for half a second, barely longer than an accidental glance. But here, the person has registered that your eyes have met. Remember:

  • If they break the eye contact by looking down, it’s one of the signs of mutual attraction
  • If they break the eye contact by looking to the side, they are not attracted to you
love or lust quiz

5. The double glance

What does it mean when someone looks away while talking to you? To find out, keep looking at them for a few more seconds. Some of them will look at you a second time. This is a clear eye contact flirting sign and chances are if you initiate a conversation, you might get a positive reaction.

How to send eye contact love signals? A Reddit user wrote, “Look them in the eyes, look down, smile (almost to yourself?), look them back in the eyes. If done poorly you will look crazy. If done well you will look adorable. Works for both sexes.”

Related Reading: 13 Clear Signs He Is Fighting His Feelings For You

6. The gaze

This is when you’re staring into each other’s eyes without talking, for two/three seconds. When there is such intense eye contact between a man and a woman, it can make them feel incredibly aroused, as per research. So, if you get a smile while locking eyes with your crush, then you better not miss this opportunity.

How to make sexual eye contact? A Reddit user wrote, “A good wink can make a hell of a difference in your day”. Another Reddit user wrote on flirting with eyes, “The power of eye contact attraction, especially the wink should not be underestimated, just as much as it should not be used carelessly. A bad wink becomes a bad time for everyone involved.”

7. The intoxicated stare

Kira was in no mood to wake up and go to work, so she snuggled in closer to Leo. Sensing him already awake, she woke up and noticed eye contact flirting signs. He looked as if he was drunk on something and had this little smile playing on his lips. He looked positively dreamy when Kira realized she had found someone special.

When you catch a guy staring at you, then treasure it. This ‘look of love’ is one of the most validating looks to receive. It generally happens after you’ve been dating someone for a couple of months. Eye contact intimacy is poetic and almost like what show in the movies.

However, it is also one of the most heart-breaking glances to receive, when the feelings are one-sided. So, if you find him staring into your eyes for 6 seconds straight and you don’t feel the same way about him, let him know before his feelings grow.

more on flirting

8. “There’s murder on my mind” stare

It is said that when a person makes prolonged eye contact with you, it means one of two things: it is either a sign of sexual tension, or they are a little unhinged and daydream about killing you. If you have 38 missed calls from your girlfriend and she is standing in front of you with arms folded, the intense eye contact from her won’t bode well for you. You should definitely keep an eye out for dishes flying at you.

Key Pointers

  • Paying attention to how they react after the eye contact can help you understand if it’s ‘love at first sight’ or not
  • There are various types of eye contact attraction, from a glance to a gaze
  • If they’re intimidated, they look down; that’s a tip on how to read eyes for love
  • One thing to remember is an eye contact between a man and a woman can be also due to lying/anger
  • Be the real you and don’t stare so long that the other person gets creeped out

Finally, eye attraction can help in building any relationship (not just romantic ones). Even in your day-to-day life, you can use the power of eye contact attraction. Research talks about the 50/70 rule: You should maintain eye contact for 50% of the time while speaking and 70% of the time while listening.


1. Does eye contact increase attraction?

Not always. Research points out that is a girl holds eye contact and doesn’t smile, it could mean that she is lying. But, the way someone looks at you when they love you is totally different from that. My friend was recently telling me, “I always catch her looking at me. This makes me feel more drawn to her.”

2. What does eye contact mean to a guy?

When a guy holds eye contact until you break it, it’s a sign he’s attracted to your physical beauty and is flirting with you. My cousin was telling me, “He stares into my eyes. We make eye contact but never talk. This is not how friends look at each other.”

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