Having a crush is an exhilarating feeling but with it comes an inevitable dose of fear. The fear of rejection or of being cringey in front of them is enough to leave you too paralyzed to take that first step. To talk with your crush for the first time in this state of mind can feel like rocket science. That’s why we came up with this list of tips and tricks on how to talk with your crush without making a fool out of yourself.
How To Talk With Your Crush Without Being Awkward And Nail It
While a little shyness isn’t all bad (it can actually come across as cute or charming), your nerves might push you into the realm of painful awkwardness, leading to a situation that will keep you up at night for months or years to come. Before you throw caution to the wind, have a look at these tips on how to talk with your crush and see if they work for you.
But before you make your move, it would help to keep a few things in mind:
- Don’t overthink things. This is a surefire way to panic town
- Have a few topics prepared to avoid awkward silences
- Groom yourself. Nobody wants to flirt with someone who looks like they just rolled out of bed! In fact, research has shown that not only is this good for your first impression ‘visually,’ but also positively impacts your mood, which your crush will pick up on
Additionally, the first few minutes you spend with your crush will likely make or break your chances of taking things forward with them. Researchers have found that 95% of people believe that first impressions are important. This means that your crush is very likely to make a decision about you based on your first impression.
Related Reading: How To Know If You Have A Crush On Someone – 17 Sure-Shot Signs
How to talk with your crush over text
Texting is a great way to initiate a conversation with your crush since it provides some protection from the debilitating effects of a faux pas. But even with texting, initiating a conversation that you’re so invested in can feel like an uphill battle.
Our instinct is often to start with a generic “Hey…” or “How’s it going?” But this is counterproductive because it doesn’t give your crush any incentive to answer. It’s too casual and vague, and communicates a lack of interest on your part. If you want to talk to your crush on Whatsapp, try some of these ideas to protect yourself from being left on read:
- Ask a leading question: A question that they will feel compelled to answer. For example, if you share an interest in a certain musical act, you could ask them if they heard their latest release. Or if you share a similar taste in food, you could ask if they’ve tried a certain restaurant. The latter even works as a great segue into asking them out on a date
- Reference a past interaction: If you’ve already interacted with your crush, a great way to initiate a text conversation with them is to bring up something that the two of you have already spoken about. For instance, if they recommended a movie, you could say something like, “Hey, what was that movie you were telling me about the other day?”
- Add a compliment to your leading text: A genuine compliment rarely fails since it has the power to make someone’s day. Flattering your crush AND getting them to respond is a double win. You could say something like, “I just heard the funniest joke and it reminded me of you!” This statement works by complimenting them on their sense of humor while creating curiosity about the joke. Needless to say, be prepared with a good joke!
- Point out a shared interest: If you know they are into something that you are too, you could open a conversation by pointing this out. For example, if you like going to concerts, you could say, “Omg, you like this artist too? They have a gig this weekend, we should totally go!”
- Don’t be too quick to reply to their texts: While this may seem counterintuitive – the idea is to let your crush know that you’re interested – the fact is that always texting back immediately can come across as needy. Studies have shown that it may be wiser to let a text from your crush sit for some time before you respond
How to talk with your crush in public
To talk with your crush for the first time in person, especially in a public place, is an entirely different ballgame. The rise of social media and dating apps has made us a little too reliant on the safety of texting. So while it has always been a nerve-racking endeavor to talk to your crush in person, it is even more so now. Here are some pointers on how to talk with your crush in public:
- Open with something relevant to the situation: If you’re standing in line at a coffee shop and you ask your crush about their favorite music or movies, they will probably feel thrown off. This is because it is irrelevant. A better conversation starter would be something like, “Is the cappuccino here any good? I haven’t tried it here before.” This will surely get a response and open up the possibility of a smooth conversation
- Say no to pick-up lines: While memes and rom-coms are all about cheesy pick-up lines, these rarely work in real life. Even if it doesn’t make your crush cringe, they will likely only politely chuckle a little bit before moving on with their day. If you really can’t think of a good opener, at least avoid a pick-up line. As a last resort, a simple “Hi” will suffice in a face-to-face scenario
- Avoid hovering: This can happen sometimes when you’re building up the nerve to talk to your crush. But what ends up happening is that you come across as a little creepy, and your crush now wants to be as far away from you as possible. So, make sure to approach their personal space when you’re absolutely ready to strike up a conversation
- Talk to other people first: If you’re at a house party, you could try talking to other people around your crush before you make your move. This helps avoid the above situation. Talking to other people will warm you up and you will come across as sociable and likable to your crush. If they are with their friends, you could strike up a conversation with them, increasing the chances of your crush joining in organically
- Be expressive: Research has shown that people are more receptive to you when you express yourself non-verbally while talking. This includes facial expressions and hand gestures. So don’t be afraid to be a little animated when you talk to your crush. Chances are you’ll make a lasting impression on them if you do
How to start a conversation with your crush in person
When interacting with your crush in person, choosing the right words can feel like a monumental task. Here’s what we recommend:
- Practice with a friend first
- Establish a rule that your friend can only answer your questions and cannot ask you questions in return. This will keep you on your toes and help strengthen your conversational skills
- Probably the hardest thing to deal with in this situation is the perception of judgment from the other person. It is good practice to remind yourself that no one is actually judging you as long as you are respectful in your approach
- So, relax, be yourself, and take romantic rejection as a learning experience instead of an indictment on your personality
Related Reading: Healthy Flirting Vs Unhealthy Flirting – 8 Key Differences
How to talk to your crush on the phone
In this age of texting and DMs, phone calls are practically a thing of the past. Many of us prefer texting over phone calls because it’s less stressful in the early stages when you’re both trying to make a good impression. But at some point, you’re going to have to connect on a call. And when that happens, it can trigger some nerves.
So how do you come across as romantic on the phone with your crush? Here are some steps you can follow:
- The first and most important thing to do even before picking up the phone is to calm your nerves as much as possible
- If you’re the one making the call, that’s great! You can take your time, do some deep breathing or a mindfulness exercise, and then make the call
- If you’re receiving the call, you don’t have to answer immediately. Wait for a second or two, catch your breath, steady your nerves, and then answer the call
- If you find it hard to center yourself so quickly, you can always let it ring out and call them back later with a simple “Sorry, I missed your call. I was caught up with something.”
- On the call, a simple “Hey, how’s it going?” is a great way to start a conversation
- If you’re talking on the phone, it means you’ve already communicated elsewhere, so you don’t need a memorable line to ‘reel them in.’
- Having said that, you can use a one-liner or a corny pickup line ironically but you have to make sure it’s obvious that you’re being silly
- Once you’ve got the conversation going, just be yourself. Talk about common interests, ask non-invasive questions, and share some appropriately personal details about your life
- Make sure to strike a good balance between talking and listening
- And when it’s done, try to end the conversation on a happy note (i.e., avoid ending the conversation with a rant about the state of the world)
Related Reading: How Gen-Z Uses Memes To Flirt
How to start a conversation with your crush on Instagram
Probably the easiest way to start a conversation with your crush on Instagram is to reply to one of their stories. If it doesn’t feel right to say something concrete yet, this allows you to open a line of communication with a simple emoji reaction. It tells them something about you based on the story they shared.
From here, you can ease into more direct approaches like sending them funny texts and memes according to their interests, liking their photos, or even DMing them. Again, keep it light in the beginning and make use of the topics mentioned above to ensure the smoothest possible conversation.
But tread carefully with this approach because it is easy to come across as creepy on Instagram. There is no shortage of actual creeps on social media, so it can be difficult for your crush to distinguish between them and a genuine greeting. You could introduce yourself, say something positive about their content, and ask if you could follow them if it’s a private account.
Related Reading: The Problem With Sliding Into Her DMs: The Plague Of Creepy Texts And Unsolicited Images
Tips to talk to your girl crush
The best way to get over your nerves over talking to your girl crush – is to talk to your girl crush! As soon as the conversation begins and takes a flow, your nerves will subside and you will simply be yourself in conversation with another human being.
Having said that, it doesn’t hurt to be prepared. You don’t want to start a conversation with your girl crush and then freeze like a deer in headlights. Whether you are good at banter or not, it is always a good idea to have a bunch of topics ready to prevent the conversation from drying up into an awkward silence. Here are some ideas on how to talk with your crush:
- Pop culture: Music, movies, and TV shows are a foolproof topic to get a conversation with your girl crush going. “Did you see the latest episode of Euphoria?” “Have you seen the latest Imagine Dragons video?” “Did you catch that new Dakota Johnson movie?”
- Food: Everyone is a foodie. So you can’t really go wrong talking about food. It’s a safe topic in that there’s no risk of accidentally asking something too personal or triggering. And the bonus is that you can remember her favorite food and surprise her with it in the future!
- Travel: Most people love to travel. Sharing travel stories is a great way to keep the conversation going. Even if you haven’t traveled a lot, you can always talk about the places you’ve always dreamed of visiting. This could also work as a subtle hint for future dating ideas
- Shared values: This is a great way to segue into a slightly deeper conversation with your crush. Shared political views, a common social cause, or a similar worldview can bring people together. Just make sure to keep it light in case you don’t agree on a hot button topic!
Tips to talk to your boy crush
When you’re talking to your boy crush, your best bet is always to be yourself. It works logically as well because if you do hit it off with him, you want him to know who you are from the get go, right? Here are some other pointers:
- If you’re afraid of coming across as needy, rest easy because studies have shown that many men find it appealing when a woman makes the first move – especially when he knows you like him
- Make sure that he’s interested in talking to you. A few looks in his general direction with some well-timed eye contact should give you this information pretty quickly. If he returns your gaze a couple of times, it means he’s open to a conversation
- A warm, relaxed smile is a great way to initiate the conversation. It is a flirtatious signal that will make your man warm up to you, resulting in a smooth conversation
- If you’re afraid of looking like you’re forcing a smile, try to relax and think of something that makes you happy
- Besides this, the same conversation starters mentioned above should work on the guy you like. Men are not that different from women
- If you’re being genuine, he will also likely be genuine in his response when he knows you like him; and you can just go with the flow from there
- Make sure to calm your nerves and mentally prepare yourself before striking up a conversation with your crush
- Talk about things that are relevant to the situation and that you two might share in common
- Ask about their likes and dislikes
- Share personal things about yourself without turning the conversation into a therapy session
- Use your sense of humor to put your crush at ease
At the end of the day, you’re probably making a bigger deal out of this than it actually is. This is something we all do because we’re human. But you don’t have to let your nerves ruin a good thing, whether you talk to your crush on Whatsapp or in person. Use these tips on how to talk with your crush and put yourself out there!
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