It’s good to give some time to reflect on whether you’re sending out the right signals as you get to know someone. Questions like “Does he like me, or does he not?” or “Does she just want to be friends, or is there a potential for more?”, or even, “We spent two hours on the phone the other day but I haven’t heard from him for days now – what is going on?” are all too common and it can be frustrating trying to figure someone out because of the kinds of signals you’re getting from them.
Perhaps you’re wondering a whole different set of questions, like: “Why is no one sending me messages online?” or “Why didn’t he message back after our last conversation?” or even, “How come she just ghosted me?” If that sounds like you, it might be worth considering what kind of signals you’re sending out to potential dates.
How’s your dating profile?
Take online dating as an example. What people see on your profile should give them an idea of who you are, your personality, your interests and what is important to you. Hopefully, what you’ve written should make the right person take notice and want to find out more. So, think about what you put on your profile.
From my experience of online dating, it is easy to see those that have taken time on their profile and those that have only put in the bare minimum. Even if that isn’t the intention, not putting enough effort on your profile information could suggest that you wouldn’t put that much effort into a relationship.
If you want to send the right signals to potential dates, put some effort into your profile. However, bear in mind that quality is just as important (if not more), as quantity. Try not to put every bit of information about you online; but just enough to give an idea of the kind of person you are.
So, take a look at your profile again- is it a true reflection of you? Is it accurate? Is your message consistent throughout?
How’s your conversation?
Another area where people tend to give off the most signals, good or bad, is during conversations. If you’re chatting to someone – messaging, talking on the phone, or face to face, what you say is very important and helps them to know even more about you (obvious, right?).
But we all communicate differently, and some people might take what you say very literally, whilst others may read between the lines and understand what you’re not saying. However, the thing to remember is that people are not mind readers. If you like someone, show, or tell them that you like them.
If you’re not sure about the relationship, say so. Mixed signals can be off-putting and can also be confusing, so make sure you’re consistent in your messages. Don’t blow hot and cold, or string people along, as this only wastes both your time and is unkind.
The kind of conversation you have with someone can also give off certain signals to them. Being open to discussing potentially difficult topics, whilst maintaining boundaries shows someone that you’re interested and value what they think and have to say.
As a Christian, sharing about how important your faith is to you and the role it plays in your life is a way of not only inviting someone into your life but letting them know the areas that are a priority and where your values lie. If they share the same values as you, great – things can proceed. If not, at least they know where you stand.
How’s your body language?
Body language is another area to be aware of when it comes to communicating and giving the right signals. We are told that majority of our communication (over 70%) is non-verbal – so what is your body language telling to potential dates? It is very easy to say one thing, but your body language suggests something entirely different, and this can lead to confusion in a relationship – real or potential.
Lastly, be mindful of how you come across. I’m not a very smiley person, but over the years I learnt that a smile really does makes you more attractive and approachable to people.
Now, I’m not suggesting that smiling more would solve all your dating issues, but people are generally more likely to approach someone that is smiling (whether in a picture or in real life), with a welcoming countenance, than someone who just seems uninterested. So, ask yourself; are you approachable, or do you sound or look like you’d rather be somewhere else when you’re in someone’s company?
We are constantly communicating signals to people, even when we’re not aware of it. Being aware of how we communicate, what we say and how we say it, the information we put online about ourselves, and our body language helps us to ensure that we are sending out the right signals to people when dating.
How do you approach sending out the right signals when dating? Share your thoughts and tips
Enjoyed reading ‘The importance of sending out the right signals when dating’? Read more by Urenna Kiwanuka here.